Moan for me like Helen Keller
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
