I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize