I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
