Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
