i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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