i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
please come you make the beer taste better
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
