normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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