somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
