I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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