Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
