allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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