can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
