sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize