I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
