You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
