so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
