I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
