what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
