$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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