sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
This is not my ceiling
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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