my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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