don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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