How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i think i just lost a toe
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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