She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize