That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
