Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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