Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
