I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
