I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
