I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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