just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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