At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
