yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
this hospital has no fireball
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
