does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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