Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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