I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
