Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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