My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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