I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am one with the molecules
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
