I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
