Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
