In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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