All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
