i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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