VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My bed smells like the plague
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize