so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
do nipples grow back?
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