She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
