i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
