Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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