just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
