he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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