..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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