So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
