I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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