Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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