there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
