Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
