I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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