I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
