the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
