Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
