I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
