there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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