ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
