i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
