So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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