idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
