I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Who did Billy Mays play for?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
pray to the hookup gods
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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