Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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