Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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