This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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