I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
