Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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